I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i think my cat just said my name.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
