Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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