sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
