So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
