quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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