So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
