and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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