last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i out mim tonsoeep
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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