Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
