In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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