some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
