do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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