just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize