She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
And he claims I gave him āfuck meā eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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