i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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