I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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