I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
