The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
