What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
