A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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