sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
