I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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