I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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