I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
