I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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