he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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