ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
