It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
