I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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