farters have to be the big spoon...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
