In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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