it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
