Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
