We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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