Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
