K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
