The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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