But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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