Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
