we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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