He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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