Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
