The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize