Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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