She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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