Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
