It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
