omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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