Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
