Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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