I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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