I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
