Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
