Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
