I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
