I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
