I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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