whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
