do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
