Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
