her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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