aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
