Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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