I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
40s are totally the cure
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
